|
Eaglewings4110
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Ashley
State: Oregon
Birthday: 2/5/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Jesus, reading books for fun, attempting to write my own stories and poetry, listening to music and trying to dance to it, cooking (Especially peanut butter brownies for special people, ok well I will cook for just about anyone that needs to be fed. So instead of feeding stray cats, I feed stray boys) attempting to make people laugh( this more than often happens when I am not trying) going camping, being outdoors, going fishing, going to the beach, watching basketball, attempting to play basketball( I can actually shoot and dribble with both hands) knitting, writing songs, trying to be more artistic, and sleeping with my new, softest blanket ever.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  iluvuobasketball
Member Since:
10/14/2005
|
|
| Do you ever get that feeling that you should have done something and wonder later on if that was God prompting you to do it, but you did not do it anyway? Well, unfortunately that happened to me. This weekend I was set on getting Max, my kitten, a name tag that had my number on it in case he got lost. I hesitated for various reasons and was going to do it later this week, but it was too late. I came home Tuesday night after class to find that Max was nowhere to be found. He was let outside, but he went away somewhere.
I was hoping it would be like Christmas when you anticipate that morning to wake up to a tree with presents under it. I awoke with Max being the first thing on my mind and could hardly wait to open the front door to see if he was there. No such luck. Mickey heard me calling for Max and started to cry. I wanted to do the same, but restrained myself.
And so it has been a full day and I have seen no signs of Max. Everything I see reminds me of him and it makes me want to cry. As I drove home from a movie tonight in the darkness I saw an orange tabby. I quickly pulled over and started to call for Max, but it wasn't him. That darn cat means the world to me. I don't know what I would do if he was gone forever. Pray that I find him. | | |
| Tonight at XA I felt God was telling me that there was someone in the room who needed to hear this message: God is in control. I hope the message is not too late. | | |
| Maybe it was today that I first started to notice it. I think it might have first started when I thought I heard God say to me that it was not ok and to accept that. But maybe I was too busy crying to even notice. I used to cry. I used to feel sad at times. But if I felt any other emotion besides being happy I would just blame it on my period or I did not spend time with God. I only let myself be happy. And I am pretty sure between the dry heaving and tears this morning at church that God was telling me that how my dad treats me is not ok and that I have to admit that. I guess everybody has problems with their dads not loving them the way the should love them. Men seem to suck at that. Sorry about the stereotype. I guess most of the men I know suck at it. And so I apologize for my dad. I make excuses for him. And I think there is a fine line between knowing someone's faults and loving them and ignoring their faults. I try to ignore my dad's faults. I guess I just don't want to admit to the fact that he does not love me the way I need to be loved. But there is no resolution or happy ending to this blog. I am sorry. I don't let myself feel because I can't handle it and I don't admit to myself that my dad doesn't know how to love me. I just don't know how to deal with it. | | |
| I have always believed that we serve a great God who created the universe and can calm storms and do exceedingly above and beyond all we can imagine. But I also believe that in His greatness and surpassing power He likes to come down and meet us where we are. It was more than enough that He sent His Son to show us He loved us, but the fact that He keeps reminding me daily that He loves me makes my heart overwhelm with joy. I went on a retreat with my church this last weekend. On the way home we stopped in this little town called Oakridge at a grocery store. In front of the store two girls were giving away free kittens. I went out and got to hold a little grey one. It was so cute:). God knew my heart and He knew that I love kittens. So I believe He brought me that kitten to hold just so He could say He loved me and He knew the desires of my heart. | | |
| What if I told you that the cross was futile? What if I told you that Jesus came down on earth and died for nothing and that the cross served no purpose? What would you do? You might look at me like I am crazy. You might try to show me scripture that proves me wrong. What if I told you that you and I destroyed the power of the cross? If you are a “good” Christian you would probably slap me upside the head.
What if I asked you if you trusted in Jesus? You response would more than likely be yes. All the time? In every situation do you trust Jesus? I realized that my answer to this question was no. I say that I trust Jesus, but my life tells a different story. The other night at church the pastor was talking about Jacob and Joseph from the Bible. He said the main difference between the two people was that Jacob was kniving and always was striving to receive God’s blessing. Joseph knew that God was going to bless him and he trusted in the Lord and stood on God’s promise to him. I am more like Jacob. I give my circumstances to God, but I always have a back up plan just in case He does not come through. And I live my life that many times reflects the futility of the cross.
Christ has called us all to take up our crosses. I believe that with Jesus it is all or nothing. Either he has everything and you are serving Him or He does not. There is no middle ground. And so by my actions and my lifestyle I say to God something like this: “God, you may have sent your son to die for me and reconcile me to you, BUT that is not enough. I will strive to be perfect. I will trust in my circumstances and follow my dreams because what Christ did was not enough.” And that is how we take away the power of the cross in our lives. When we don’t live a life that fully trusts in Jesus we are saying to Him that He died for nothing because we can do it by ourselves.
Even as I write this I sense in my spirit that it grieves our Savior. It is such a powerful revelation. So many, including myself, struggle with the sin of pride. We would rather do things ourselves, follow our dreams, live our lives the way we want to. And it is easier than trying to crucify the flesh and be an outcast to society. But the path eventually will lead to death.
Joyce Meyer, a famous preacher, once said something to the extent of: “I had enough of Jesus to just get by, but never enough to see real victory in my life.” She read her Bible, prayed, and went to church enough to keep in touch with God. She did not embrace the full power of the cross at first. If you will let Him, Christ will change you. But that means being obedient to Him. God revealed to me that He can’t move if I am always trying to do things on my own. He has to be the one in control.
And so to fully embrace the power of the cross we must stand on the blood of Jesus. There is truly power in the blood. It has power over every power, principality, or authority in this world and below it. The blood has the power to heal and to bring life. It is a representation of our freedom and God’s grace.
I truly believe that until we get to Heaven we will never fully understand what Christ did for us when He died for our sins. It only takes a moment to thank Him for what He did. And we can show our gratitude to Him in our lives by FULLY trusting Him. May you embrace the power of the cross.
| | |
|
